tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60885400778563240632024-03-05T18:52:51.447+11:00korben saysAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-33800391352499570152017-01-19T23:29:00.001+11:002017-01-22T22:16:10.518+11:00Day 19, 2017<p dir="ltr">Beautiful day today, sunny, warm, nice breeze. Headed to Geelong for work, always a pleasure there. Finished up at Moonee Ponds and then back to the inlaws for FIL's "actual bday" dinner. Had fun playtime with Turtle out in the paddock. She had her favourite pillow with her again. So cute that she's clingy to it. Helped at bed time tonight too. It seemed as though she was comfortable not having one of us sticking around. This is good! Not much else today. All up, it was a good one.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Morning Weight: N/A<br>
Exercise: N/A<br>
General Health: woke up super stuffed up in the nose, cleared with the shower steam, still bloated guts though.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Food & Drink:<br>
Breakfast: 1 cup cereal + soy milk<br>
Lunch: HJ Grilled Chicken + fat chips<br>
Dinner: roast chicken + veg + chips<br>
Water: 1500ml<br>
Coffee: 2*Small <u>Latte</u><br>
Other: Pav, fruit/nut muesli bar, 4 dumplings, 20* corn chips(gf)</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-50486532419420010912017-01-18T18:36:00.001+11:002017-01-19T23:34:44.299+11:00Day 18, 2017<p dir="ltr">Morning Weight: 74.5kg<br>
Exercise: N/A<br>
General Health: Guts: 82cm, bloated, <u>discomfort</u>.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Food & Drink:<br>
Breakfast: 1 cup cereal + soy milk<br>
Lunch: lasagna (gf) + garden salad<br>
Dinner: Grilled salmon, brown rice, kidney bean salad<br>
Water: 2000ml<br>
Coffee: 2* small soy Latte<br>
Other: Fruit nut mueseli bar, Cherry Ripe slice (gf)<br><br></p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-53665650292275504692017-01-17T13:18:00.001+11:002017-01-19T23:38:04.621+11:00Day 17, 2017<p dir="ltr">Morning Weight: N/A<br>
Exercise: N/A<br>
General Health:<br>
Guts: 82cm, bloated, discomfort, mild pain, tired, mildly disorientated</p>
<p dir="ltr">Food & Drink:<br>
Breakfast: 1 cup cereal + soy milk<br>
Lunch: Grilled salmon, brown rice, garden salad<br>
Dinner: Tepanyaki<br>
Water: 500ml<br>
Coffee: 1* small soy Latte<br>
Other: <u>Snickers</u></p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-17012727244260360952017-01-17T04:55:00.001+11:002017-01-17T05:22:10.871+11:00Day 14, 2017<p dir="ltr">Today was a good one, after a crappy sleep. Turdle's been a little off on her sleep of late. Not sure what's changed but it sucks for all.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Sleep or no sleep, we still headed out for a day at Adventure Park down Geelong way with our visiting family. It was way too chilly for water play but we had pre-purchased the tickets so away we went. Turtle was mostly happy, even though she was ready to nap most of the time. She went on the mini rollercoaster with wifey, super slow electric race cars with me and then chill break before trying out the bouncing pillow - which she just laid on with her bottle while the other kids bounced her around. Headed back to the bags and let her take the lead on what to do next. Of course, in 20 degree weather it was water related!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Funny stuff here, she wanted to touch and play with the water but kept pushing me away towards it to do it for her. I'd run back after doing so with a little scream and laugh. She loved it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">After an early lunch, tried our luck in the actual kids water play area, with pretty much the exact same result. We'd been trying to get her to sleep off and on for most of the morning without any luck. Too much going on around. So, she was super wrecked by now and just needed to sleep. Decided to head home but with one last ride, on the ferris wheel. She loved it enough to finally get a poop out too. We had to evacuate the ride, lucky it was our last rotation.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Just over an hour drive home and Turtle fell asleep about 15 mins into it (next to her Pa). She slept for 45 mins then another few hours in bed at home. I should have done the same but wasn't ready for it so I caught up on a few of my own things around the house.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Out to dinner for Pa's bday that night. I had a Hawaiian Parma. Not bad at all. Turtle was a bit restless again. Took her home for a trampoline bounce to let off some steam and then back to Nanna and Pa's house for cake. It was pretty late by the time we made it home so Turtle didn't sleep until around 11pm. In theory, that would mean she'd sleep til about 9am. But nooooooo.. 7:30pm rise and shine. Still better than the 5:30-6am it's been of late. </p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-77620646170143121922017-01-16T12:23:00.001+11:002017-01-17T13:40:44.918+11:00Day 16, 2017 - "Here's to Everything that Matters: Starting with Me"<p dir="ltr">It's easy to forget that at any given time everyone is facing a challenge of some sort. Too often are we caught up in the day's happenings, and remain focused on the outcome or our own agenda where as the person in front of you might need a bit of a break. For example, the stupid bitch that decided to road rage me when I was looking for a car park this morning. Even if I had have been going slow (which I wasn't), I pulled over to let her pass and she proceeded to yell abuses and honk at me. Anyway, I proceeded to teach her a lesson but decided not to waste what little energy I have on her. Plus, I have a doctor's appointment now. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Fast forward to the end of my appointment... Reception lady decided to be nosey, go through all my paperwork and probe as to why I'm getting the exam done. She wasnt making small-talk and already had the answers she "needed". Their EFTPOS machine was broken too, so she proceeded to politely threaten me with debt collectors if I didn't come back by Friday. Wow. She received a blank stare followed by a comment highlighting her broken machine. I might pay by cheque or 5 cent pieces. No! Be thoughtful! ^^^<br>
It will be my last visit to this practice. Returning to the one in the town we live in now.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Moving right along. A big thing for me this year is not caving in to believing that others opinions of me matter. I need a reminder trigger. Haven't worked that out 100% for this one yet. I have previously taught myself to break the cycle of momentous thought, but I must revisit it, bring it back to the forefront. So mental health is one, physical health is the other with a few key focus items: general fitness & strength (this body is 40 now & needs ongoing attention!) as well as the various issues that pop up regularly, most notably, my guts and my teeth. I'm always making time for everyone else & what actually makes me keeps burning slowly in the back ground. In fact, I'd say it's not even at that level. So, before I'm too old & decrepit, it's time to just make <u>it</u> happen for Me and my family...</p>
<p dir="ltr">Gym, bike, dentist, eat good, drink less, sleep well.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm going to document all of this. Each day. My food and drink, weight, exercise, sleep, and how my body generally feels. It starts now. Good luck me!</p>
<p dir="ltr"><b>Sleep:</b><br>
Poor - 12:30am to 7am interrupted 4-5 times</p>
<p dir="ltr"><b>Weight</b><b>: </b><br>
74.2kg, waiste 82cm</p>
<p dir="ltr"><b>Exercise</b>:<br>
None</p>
<p dir="ltr"><b>Food & Drink:</b><br>
2* small soy Latte<br>
Water 2000ml<br>
Mexican tuna salad (rice beans spinach tomato corn cucumber capsicum red onion)<br>
Fish Cakes and bean salad (as above)<br>
2* nut mueseli bars (Carmen's?)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><b>General Health:</b><br>
Guts: 82cm, bloated, discomfort, mild pain</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-13966926192381900902017-01-14T16:13:00.003+11:002017-01-14T16:13:40.474+11:00Day 12+13, 2017 - "Fly-Bys"The year is flying already. It's funny, that realisation pops up earlier and earlier each time round and this is a record for sure! I was saying to a colleague the other day, "it's all good, we still have 50 weeks left in the year!". Haha. In no time, that will be 26, then 13, then Xmas all over again. Can't let it fly by like that. At least, not without the good memories I'll be leaving here.<br />
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Day 12, Thursday. Mostly work based. Caught the train into the city for the first time in ages. It was relaxing. Drive to Bacchus Marsh station, which is only and extra 5 mins from Melton station, as it's much more pleasant. Being the start of the line, I get to choose a decent comfy seat. Did a bit of work on the way in & caught up on my last blog post. Nice. Home by 5:30ish. Same old family time routine - play, eat, bath, then PS4, sleep.<br />
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Day 13, Friday. Good OT session for Turtle. Set up her new iPad speech App and she showed good early signs of easy use. Need to delete all the "play" stuff off it so it can be used purely for speech. Off to work afterwards, worked late then home to see interstate family visiting for a BBQ. Great to see them all. They are great with Turtle and she loves it. Lots of hugs and play which we never get to see!!! So good!! Later on just chilled, watched Victory scrape home with a 10 man win, PS4 then sleep by 11pm ready for a big day at Adventure Park on Saturday!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-7852200979721576572017-01-12T07:50:00.001+11:002017-01-12T08:00:55.267+11:00Day 10 + 11, 2017<p dir="ltr">The days kind of get away from you when work is involved and that's 2 gone in the blink of an eye! </p>
<p dir="ltr">The last 2 days certainly aren't a blur. Tuesday was a big day of catch-up & planning with work. Scheduled all the partner meetings and had some great chats with key peeps. Finished the day picking up a super happy Turtle from daycare and an evening outside playing & jumping before her bed time. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Wednesday morning was fun with Turtle, couldn't get her off the trampoline to eat her breakfast, so guess what, she ate it half on there. She'd pop her head out to get her next bite, chew it all up and then bounce a few laps before <u>returning</u> for more. Had to leave her on there while I started getting ready. Eventually she hopped off and ran inside... Without her pants on. Interesting. Another big day at work, half which had a migraine so sat in the day for a few hours until the neurofen kicked in. Came home to another trampoline session. Man, she loves bouncing! Best thing we ever bought for her! Played, readied Turtle for bed, <br>
ate another awesome dinner made by Wifey (salmon + salad), tidied the house, did a few emails then chilled in the PS4. Was a good day all round except for the TV fiasco. Lesson learnt. Oh, also had a great chat with a work partner. A reminder to live in the present moment & enjoy life now. If something is desired, then make it happen. Mostly talking about holidays and travel here. Remember!</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-63878414346951790922017-01-10T06:00:00.000+11:002017-01-10T09:04:05.259+11:00Day 9, 2017 - "Back to work"It was tough leaving home this morning, but made a little easier by Turtle waking up in a great mood. She was happy when I left too. Reports from Wife said she was a gem all day which is almost a first for a Monday!<br />
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The day at work was as expected, probably better than, actually. Good catch up chats, sifting through important emails & jumping into our plan of attack for the year ahead. Feels awesome to be on top of everything, all due to well organised team planning at the end of the year.<br />
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Finished the working day meeting with a prospective client and then later met the family at the old park before heading to Turtle's doctors appointment. All went well, we were a little concerned about her ear pulling (after having grommets replaced just before Xmas). No major concerns, just a little red from the infection prior to the operation. Neurofen and revisit in a week. Easy.<br />
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The evening at home was fun. Could not get our little Turdle off the trampoline, not even for dinner. But I love seeing her happy, smiling & giggling, so all good on my end. For quite a long while I imagined not even coming close to this. Turtle ended up going to bed on time, Wifey went to pilates, I caught up on the FA Cup, tidied up and then had another few rounds of BF1 before bed.<br />
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Nice day all up.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-7096367722260261192017-01-09T06:00:00.000+11:002017-01-10T09:04:36.227+11:00Day 8, 2017 - "The Dreaded Last Day of Holidays"Last day of holidays today. Bummer. Have had the best time with the daughter. 2 weeks, every day. Wish it could be like this all the time. The wife thinks I'm crazy, but I don't care - I know when my daughter needs me & it's through the good and the bad times.<br />
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Turtle had a sleep-over at the grandparents house last night. I picked her up just before lunch. She wasn't happy. Seemed as though she was expecting both Mum & Dad to walk through the door. Oh well, off to home we went to have a nap, didn't happen, just ended up playing for a few hours and then nap time. It was one of the good days in the end. Nice and chilled, lots of smiles and laughs. A great way to end the holidays. Finished the night with a few rounds of BF1 after some badgering from my mate, something along the lines of "don't you want to end your holidays doing something you love". Ok mate, you got me.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-9976394663508851432017-01-09T00:02:00.001+11:002017-01-14T16:18:49.226+11:00Day 5+6+7, 2017<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
Had a few drafts I didn't get the chance to finish off as we'd been away so pulling em all into one. On a side note, I'm dreading going back to work tomorrow. Not for the work factor, more so the daughter factor. It's been an awesome few weeks with her full time. Now it's back to an hour or so a day during the week, plus weekends. I wish there was another way. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZEwPb1xLOggXSOxpdV30A8LOAKpb9UPiue6Dzp0F-igAhckQClDeRrvdsrSvbU6rNR8ZGdU6EKZvcVKjF75ZK-UsfAWzkPShKa-bmrDwJ2rwrp9C9KufHyt8D-h64xvl85NxOG1H3bRU/s1600/IMG_20170105_155053.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZEwPb1xLOggXSOxpdV30A8LOAKpb9UPiue6Dzp0F-igAhckQClDeRrvdsrSvbU6rNR8ZGdU6EKZvcVKjF75ZK-UsfAWzkPShKa-bmrDwJ2rwrp9C9KufHyt8D-h64xvl85NxOG1H3bRU/s200/IMG_20170105_155053.jpg" width="150" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3_Edxo4j9W9E6jIFZDPKUrpJtb5iienYnZOVv1fYbUgqU7SU2_M4n5afykqa4Yk-DXwnbI4-mDX903hAt8NE9ANkU-Na_4piZTQqbtTagllXSJDNYMFTNEHAuCRxuklEO3MeCjp1NwhQ/s1600/IMG_20170105_143736.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3_Edxo4j9W9E6jIFZDPKUrpJtb5iienYnZOVv1fYbUgqU7SU2_M4n5afykqa4Yk-DXwnbI4-mDX903hAt8NE9ANkU-Na_4piZTQqbtTagllXSJDNYMFTNEHAuCRxuklEO3MeCjp1NwhQ/s320/IMG_20170105_143736.jpg" width="179" /></a></div>
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On Thursday we decided to jump in the car and drive to Ballarat, ended up staying the night at an awesome family park. Great place with decent play activities and a pool split into 5 sections (foam, spa, heated kids, swimming and a water play sections). Turtle had a ball!! We had Pancake Parlour for dinner and burnt off the sugar at the Inclusive Play Park before heading back to our cabin. Wifey and I chilled with a few drinks and watched a movie.</div>
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We started the next day with donuts and fruit for brekky, a swim in the pool, a play at the playground/jumping pillow and then headed out to the local paleo cafe. Turtle enjoyed it probably because FOOD and she even chose what cake she wanted! Proud moment, she chose the best one too. Had another crack at the Inclusive Park, but ended in frustration & anxiety for all. Drive home, no sleep for Turdle.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhipRvAYb3UgqzlusDrm15C7_PWmnSx38yykjMsRAU-UeVCIC6xcvSYN1ga3gR9N7gEz6hRrrCMhnvKy73wihDvvP2UsL5UK4lQnPirMsA-GCR2sGf43rOHqiWfCoYe_4gjqBXoP5DW_Y0/s1600/IMG_20170106_175248.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhipRvAYb3UgqzlusDrm15C7_PWmnSx38yykjMsRAU-UeVCIC6xcvSYN1ga3gR9N7gEz6hRrrCMhnvKy73wihDvvP2UsL5UK4lQnPirMsA-GCR2sGf43rOHqiWfCoYe_4gjqBXoP5DW_Y0/s320/IMG_20170106_175248.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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She did eventually go to sleep in the arvo which game me time to head to Bunnings and grab what I needed to finish off the sandpit. Stopped in at Woodgrove to grab a few other things and then back home to get to work in the back yard. Come up a treat I say, but it was a bit hot to play outside for too long.</div>
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Another stinking hot day on Saturday spent mostly indoors. Quality time with the kid and then off to Woodgrove for some indoor aircon play and snacks. Turtle did something new. At K-Mart, She actually picked a toy that she wanted! Never happened before! So proud! She even played with them from time to time over the next day. Anyway, after that, we dropped Turtle off at her grandparents for a sleepover so wifey & I could have a bit of a date night. Good times, great steak & burgers then played VR at home over a few beers.</div>
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Well it's the end of day 8 now. But I'll do a separate update tomorrow. Need to sleep and go to work in 6 hours :)</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-19330787937065632542017-01-05T11:32:00.001+11:002017-01-05T12:29:31.681+11:00Day 4, 2017 - "No Sleep + Zoo = Bleh!"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_d0eL7BrdrJuCF2sbQctMFfEiRQ3gLbBYrh6Xi24N9kmvL5CjJRqMZv2zu7o7u302qbGnynkE5Sz0JYsPfeNB1sirvnQyyM90FTZ0W6PJq41_w9djKVNCAEYw2iRV6CcbpP-SXKyO9LA/s1600/CoaV28n.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_d0eL7BrdrJuCF2sbQctMFfEiRQ3gLbBYrh6Xi24N9kmvL5CjJRqMZv2zu7o7u302qbGnynkE5Sz0JYsPfeNB1sirvnQyyM90FTZ0W6PJq41_w9djKVNCAEYw2iRV6CcbpP-SXKyO9LA/s200/CoaV28n.png" width="200" /></a></div>
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So the day started badly due to a small amount of sleep on Turdle's account (she was awake from about 1am to 5am). But that didn't stop us sticking to our plan of hitting up the Werribee Open Range Zoo. In hindsight, it should have!</div>
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Beforehand, watched Arsenal fight back from a 3-0 deficit in the last 20 mins to draw with Bournemouth. Shocking first half, but awesome last 30-odd minutes.</div>
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To the zoo.. basically spent 3 hours walking around giving Turdle food and trying to get her to sleep. It was painful. Probably only enjoyed about 25 mins of the whole trip. She did like the emus out in the field though. </div>
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In the end, she <u>didn't</u> sleep all day, too hypo, I couldn't either. Wifey got a little sleep while we played outside on the trampoline & in the sprinkler. Enjoyed a shower and then put herself to bed. Always a good sign!</div>
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Wifey went to the movies, I watched a few eps of Jessica Jones and then BF1 til bed time.</div>
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Looks like I didn't take any pics today, but found this gem on Imgur.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-16709392197927589562017-01-04T11:42:00.000+11:002017-01-05T12:26:09.420+11:00Day 3, 2017<div dir="ltr">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSMhGftqWb0l1m0WMYhwju_KOnmrKznDpTnnIHko-esTYD4vQTGcqr7s7Z-vomzdW64rx46UIVKOoINoUu3pDcby9zepKrboeRI1-4XeEfOSpmwlekVIT73siBv_sBf3VvUT9ff5B-j6c/s1600/IMG_20170103_111238.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSMhGftqWb0l1m0WMYhwju_KOnmrKznDpTnnIHko-esTYD4vQTGcqr7s7Z-vomzdW64rx46UIVKOoINoUu3pDcby9zepKrboeRI1-4XeEfOSpmwlekVIT73siBv_sBf3VvUT9ff5B-j6c/s200/IMG_20170103_111238.jpg" width="200" /></a><br />
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Up early today (Turtle had me up from about 4:30am) and needed to get out of the house so we headed to the play centre. Wasn't too bad, played on a few of the jumping castles and had heaps of fun in the cubby house. She loves those things. We need to buy her a new one for home, she's outgrown her little one. Had a look online and found a few awesome ones that she'll love, but will need to put away a little bit of cashola for the perfect one.</div>
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Nothing much else exciting for the day. Had an early night.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-42222235036162190292017-01-03T10:00:00.000+11:002017-01-05T12:41:28.360+11:00Day 2, 2017 - "I'll Never Forget You, Gran"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcUcUpP-y3aYRLHeuZ4FLOvaxOkgWO5YBB0J1VbAX4mn3mOisa2-eKEGrvjkmzi2klQ_gnt-e92hvyps9JFveJ4X6MCRp5c-XhVHlQ0_POdPKpyfHB17DqL1gjiS-HIz4P4q6YOEElMIg/s1600/gran+and+cailin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcUcUpP-y3aYRLHeuZ4FLOvaxOkgWO5YBB0J1VbAX4mn3mOisa2-eKEGrvjkmzi2klQ_gnt-e92hvyps9JFveJ4X6MCRp5c-XhVHlQ0_POdPKpyfHB17DqL1gjiS-HIz4P4q6YOEElMIg/s200/gran+and+cailin.jpg" width="167" /></a>Started off the day as per usual, letting Turtle play with her iPad. I'd cast my phone screen to the TV but she refused to look at it. Too tied up in her YouTube; again, nothing new! All in all, a quiet day, however, it was definitely a significant one. </div>
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Gran would have turned 90 today. It's the first Birthday without her. The first year I didn't receive a Birthday card or have a nice chat with her one way or another. A huge gap left.</div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;">I spent a good part of the day having neat little flashbacks. It's hard to write about it right now. All I can say is that I miss her and think about her a lot. I'll always be grateful for the time and effort she gave me & how much she made me feel like an important part of the world. Wish there was somewhere for me to go and talk to her.</span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-89682717148174580112017-01-02T10:00:00.000+11:002017-01-05T12:42:04.346+11:00Day 1, 2017 - "Yep, I'm Old Now"<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yep, I'm old now.</td></tr>
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Every year I spend most of my Birthday with a pretty decent hangover. Today was no exception! :) I'm going to go ahead and blame the rum. Enjoyed my fave beer (<a href="https://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwj-rc_x5anRAhVBqJQKHV4uDqYQFgggMAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhoegaarden.com%2F&usg=AFQjCNHylsn8QWq69SauL9zoeVYdcbaaWQ&sig2=XMCaqYoEaY7eZhoKG0HkjQ&bvm=bv.142059868,d.dGo" target="_blank">Hoegaarden</a>) for most of the night and switched to my fave rum (<a href="http://www.krakenrum.com/" target="_blank">Kraken</a>) around 11pm. Think I may have made them a little stronger than usual, whoops! Because, before midnight I was more than a little tipsy haha. Oh well.</div>
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Moving right along, was spoiled by my 2 lovely ladies, then had a visit from my Mum, sister and a few of the kids, then had a BBQ dinner with a few friends & the in-laws. It was a nice, chilled-out relaxing day.</div>
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At the end of the night, managed to piece together the new VR setup. Pretty awesome I must say. Not sure if it was the remnants of the hangover or the VR motions but I went to bed feeling pretty crook, which carried through to the next morning. Either way, it was all worth it :)</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-3956530589816034102017-01-01T13:35:00.000+11:002017-01-05T12:44:36.671+11:00Here we go again... :)<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I'm a lucky guy and not a day goes by that I'm not thankful for what I have.. A beautiful loving daughter who looks up to me with her naughty/cheeky face and wins me over in a moment... and a stunner of a wife who takes great care of our little unit of a family. Together they give me all the purpose I need in life to be the best I can be. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">2016 saw some pretty extreme highs and lows for me. Got married, had a few kickarse holidays, bought our first house. Also said goodbye to both of my Grandparents within a few months of each other. I had a number of huge eye-opening moments during a few workshops - all of which have changed the way I interact with people, but more importantly, how I view myself & remain present in the moment.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">As for 2017, I have a pretty good feeling about this one. I'm not a superstitious guy but I take notice of numbers for some reason. I've always been a fan of 1's and 7's and various combinations of them. Being that I was born 01/01/77 has everything to do with it I suppose! Example: I picked the winner of 2016 Melbourne Cup because it was horse #17 running from gate #17 and to squeeze a little extra out of it, rounding up my winnings to $170. Haha. Anyway, </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">this year kicks off today, 01/01/17. Nice!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I'll keep this whole thing short & sweet... I'm super thankful for last year's learnings & I'm keen to dive into 2017's challenges. And I'm not one to lock in resolutions each year, but now that I'm "over the hill" I'm going to ramp up extra attention to my health, and keep on giving my best, specifically, to my family.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Til next time. 😄</span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-32159815620433007262017-01-01T11:10:00.000+11:002017-01-05T11:52:56.000+11:00Day 365, 2016<div dir="ltr">
Well here we are, back at the start again. 2017 aye. Could be alright. Only one way to find out.. and with a memory like mine, it's by documenting it. </div>
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I had the same plan for last year but things got a little distracting & I totally lost momentum. So this time, the plan is to remember the point to it all..</div>
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I want to be able to look back at the year and see what was achieved, progressed and learned.. with good focus on my family life. I won't talk too much about work unless it's something significant.</div>
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So here goes.. farewell 2016. From what I can remember, you've been alright. Cheers. <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-43207069284151633052016-10-10T20:00:00.000+11:002016-10-10T20:00:01.753+11:00Thinky Thoughts - 10th October 2016Well, it's almost a month to the day when I last felt like this. "This" being that I am done. I have many great reasons to keep on going but it's getting damn hard. Yeah, I know, life is hard -yada yada yada - but I'm truly feeling as though I can't do this anymore. Shit gets busy, unreasonable and distracting, and it's eats away at the things that are most important. I miss my family and I'm stuck between a combination of wanting to and needing to be with them, always. I'm sure <i>most </i>people would <i>like </i>to be with their family 24/7, but for me, I know my daughter needs me. I gotta say that she is the main reason I keep doing what I do and push and push myself to be great. I don't think I am though.<br />
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I wish I understood why I doubt myself so much - it being the pain that brews day in and day out - forever consuming. It overtakes everything. I can feel it now. Judging. My head is fighting with itself and I need to shut down the naysayer. Ok, I think the good guy is working his way back on top. Man, I must sound crazy right now, hah!<br />
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This is good. Daughter is asleep. Wifey is at the gym. I'm sitting here in my study tapping away. I know what I want to do, although I know what I have to do. I <b>want </b>to eat (dinner) & play PS4 (FIFA 17) and watch TV (Walking Dead) or study (I'm learning how to create basic Android Apps). I <b>must</b> finish my training presentation for tomorrow night, catch up on emails, and start on a huge excel file.<br />
Priorities right!? Nights should be for me (and my family), but sometimes that little extra efforts go a long way. Compromise and prioritise; Plan & carry-out; Do and just do it well - this is the way it's been. And, it's been working well, but it sucks when it impacts my family. It's possible that I feel this way because I'm not in control. I can't organise myself because I'm busy with other people's priorities. Tomorrow will be the 11th day of October and I haven't even started the basics of my role for the month. I'm dreading opening my laptop right now, but I know I have to. I must limit it. Emails are other people's problems right? Haha. Nope. Well maybe, sometimes.<br />
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Alright, writing helps big time. Or was it the rum & dry? Either way, I'm off to eat dinner, finish my presentation, look at and action 10 emails maximum and then watch my shows.<br />
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Thanks for listening Blogger. :)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-22474036985778023462016-09-15T17:34:00.001+10:002016-09-15T17:34:45.399+10:00Check in chats - 15/9/2016<p dir="ltr">Headspace is good today. Extremely productive off the back of yesterday's major coaching conversations. Also had some key chats with DPs and leadership. Feels great when you leave a convo or site feeling you've made a difference. I have a lot of thanks for the training sesh last week. So good. Sanitarium so good.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Just a thought, generally when I'm feeling as I do right now i don't have much to write about. Wonder why that is.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Now the part where I challenge myself... Where did I listen to my subconscious thought today?<br>
One moment comes to mind, group messaging App with my peers. I had something humorous to say and I backed away, I thought too many times about the judgement. <u>Come</u> on man. Be yourself already. It's what I'm known for, shitty dad jokes. Set them free already!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Signing off now. Hope the PS servers are up tonight.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Korbzzzzzzzzzz.</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-62789575791098386432016-09-14T18:29:00.001+10:002016-09-15T17:34:35.800+10:00Check In Chats - 14/9/2016<p dir="ltr">Good, productive day today.<br>
Nailed my morning routine.<br>
Positive outcomes at work.<br>
Caught my unconscious train of thought & changed direction.<br>
Gunners drew with PSG :)<br>
Home @ 6:30pm and about to walk in the door & annoy/love my family.</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-57852884452232079212016-09-12T19:38:00.002+10:002016-09-12T19:39:30.569+10:00Thinky Thoughts - 12th September 2016<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">6:58pm</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm not feeling great at all. The anxiety has continued to slowly rumble from the pit of my chest right up to top of my throat. At times my guts quiver, and, like a sleepless night, that empty feeling lingers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I've been struggling to keep my head in a good place, for the past few months at least. Most of the time I can steady my thoughts, but the waves of overwhelming worthlessness keep hitting me hard. It's weird, even as I'm typing this, I started off wanted to put myself to sleep and now I'm kind of okay. I know writing and clearly thinking things through helps me but I can't walk around all day writing every single thing down can I? Maybe that is the answer. I just need to get paid for it so I can continue to support my family. Hah!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Moving on. From the outside, I'm guessing everything looks peachy. We have just moved into our own beautiful new house, we are financially stable, we have nice things, our Autistic Daughter is moving forward by leaps and bounds, I have an amazing wife who looks after us like a hero. I should be happy, right. So why do I feel so low? Why do I feel so defeated?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Last week at work, we went through this killer training sesh. All about Leadership. Being in the role I am, influencing is key. Getting results is key. Growth is key. Without these, there is no moving forward. It was a great sesh in the sense that it opened up a hell of of a lot of realisations, most notable being that I have been dwelling on the wrong things & using old-school techniques to manage my team. I learned that 21st century success is built on social cooperation. Being the introvert that I am, faking it in a leadership role is already challenging & now I have to be social! Haha! Here we go. Well, I've made it this far, but this is some next-level skill I have to wear. I know what I have to do. It will certainly be tough, but I just need to take my personal awareness up a notch and land on the one phrase that will keep me in line. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Right now, it is that "everything I do is for the benefit, well-being & growth of my family; specifically, to better the quality of life for my daughter". </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That should be enough, right? Lot's of questions I have to keep asking myself & lots of questions I have to seek the answers to. I'm feeling a far bit better now. Writing & thinking things through is crucial. I have to commit to this.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-35915163707983751922016-02-09T08:06:00.001+11:002016-02-21T12:21:04.585+11:00Family<p dir="ltr">Family are many things. I always saw family as important, but that level of importance hit a whole new level in 2012 when my daughter was born. She is my world and I'm in awe of both her and my soon-to-be wife every day. They are 2nd to none and I'd give up everything in a heartbeat for their happiness.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Yesterday, I experienced another layer of family. One that I hadn't felt in a long time. My siblings & I, the 4 of us, have always shared a special bond. Life gets busy though when you're growing your own families and yes it may feel like its faded a little over the years but we are always there for each other. We stood united, along with our cousins & aunties & uncles & my pop to farewell one of the most amazing ladies I've ever met. It was a tough day. Emotions up, down, left, right and any other way you could possibly imagine. I couldn't be prouder to be part of this family. I'd missed this & them a lot and it was great see and understand the impact that Gran had on them too.</p>
<p dir="ltr">There is no simple way to explain what Gran meant to me. My sister summed it up pretty well in her beautiful eulogy in that she always made us feel special, like the most important person in the world, that we were capable of anything and that she was so very proud of us no matter what life choices we made. Elaborating, for me specifically, that she always filled the void of honest, positive encouragement in my personal life. In her own unique way, she was a motivator, coach and mentor and taught me to believe in and challenge myself.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The part that upsets me the most is that I never truly realised this until recently. I mean, I always valued her words because they were filled with love and made me feel awesome. But the actual depth of those words subtly added to my confidence and played a huge part in making me who I am today.  This is the most important thing I wanted to tell her before she left us. When I saw her the day before, I could only squeeze out the words "I love you" and "I miss you", even though I knew she was close, I could not bring myself to tell her, to accept that she might not be there the next day.</p>
<p dir="ltr">And now that she is gone, all I can think about is the time I've wasted being away from her and, upon reflection, just how much not having her around has left a massive gap in my life. Sure, we all say life gets busy, and we all make assumptions that the people we love will be there tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day. But they sure as hell may not be. If there is one final lesson Gran has taught me it's that I need to value the people that care about me & that I care about the most. Even if it is difficult, even if there is distance, even if there are daily distractions, nobody is more important than these people, for they are the ones that value & deserve our love the most.</p>
<p dir="ltr">While I'll never be sure, I'll keep telling myself that Gran knew exactly what I meant and that from now on, to the people that I love, I'll speak loud & clear.</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-42239226453027646602016-01-07T12:29:00.000+11:002016-01-07T12:29:57.806+11:00January 7th 2016 - Oops<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ok, so I missed my goal of 30 mins <i>each day, </i>but it's for good reason. My fiance proposed an 8 week fitness & well-being challenge and I'm all on board. In the last 3 days alone I've pretty much cut out all sugar (which I was doing well with before xmas) including in my cappuccino's. I've even switched to having latte's so that there's no chocolate involved. I'm eating good amounts of fruit & veg and exercising, let's say, "regularly" at the moment. This includes a total of 2 hours either on the treadmill or exercise bike. A slow start, but I'm gaining momentum. Still well short of where I was at 5-6 years ago, but I'm building it up with a little extra each day. I'm just going to quickly jump on the scales & see what it says...74.1.. hard to gauge at the moment as I last weighed myself first thing in the morning. Anyway, I'll keep the progress updates coming through here.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Had a great few weeks with my daughter. She has come so far since we have been on holidays together. Just on her 2nd Birthday a little over a year ago, she started walking. This time around, for her 3rd Birthday, she's really come to life with her love for her parents. Her awareness has increased tenfold & we are loving the cuddles & interactions. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-d_ZYpP20CFcq4bKbdXqLmeF7yO5fHe804pvIw0g7fHUV3O45JwB6eloeLCDm5CzgoDxadAYT86mH9nriwF10vhxtkvaTdCsqnNIOD_GiAn0-zDLJ0ad0cxG0wk5g9hKDRsRFT_ddumc/s1600/IMG_20160107_122023.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-d_ZYpP20CFcq4bKbdXqLmeF7yO5fHe804pvIw0g7fHUV3O45JwB6eloeLCDm5CzgoDxadAYT86mH9nriwF10vhxtkvaTdCsqnNIOD_GiAn0-zDLJ0ad0cxG0wk5g9hKDRsRFT_ddumc/s200/IMG_20160107_122023.jpg" width="150" /></span></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt2pHbSu30woiRAjVF3XoVezC97OESBoZjyVLdctiQLTCcprjCTXPmAeoAmSS364djQERxa12UpE5E9rBdg2RDn1p7QnlWHHCwPGxafcn3rP_wmSY1Crd-vp_Lx3ZJy1D1kUgFPDaEVi0/s1600/IMG_20160107_122053.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt2pHbSu30woiRAjVF3XoVezC97OESBoZjyVLdctiQLTCcprjCTXPmAeoAmSS364djQERxa12UpE5E9rBdg2RDn1p7QnlWHHCwPGxafcn3rP_wmSY1Crd-vp_Lx3ZJy1D1kUgFPDaEVi0/s200/IMG_20160107_122053.jpg" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of her favorite things at the moment is the new trampoline we got her, even more so since I put the tent over it. She takes her sock monkey doll in there and plays for ages. She's getting better at bouncing every day, but mostly loves just running around in circles, crashing into the nets and falling down... all with sock monkey in hand. The other favorite is Emma Wiggle. Man, she loves that show like crazy. She's really into dancing, music & hand-movement type games & songs, so the 2 are going hand in hand. A part from all that, we are starting to get repetitive words out of her. The most common one is "ottel" which means bottle of water. While we were away in Brisbane, it was "nan", "mama" and "addy" which is daddy. Small wins, just hope she keeps it going. There are number of tactics we are trying to encourage her speech. It's tough & frustrating for all of us, but if we can get this break-through, it will make a massive difference to the speed of her development.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, what else... over the past few days I've been tinkering around the house, sorting out suits & gear for the groomsmen, got a massage, saw Star Wars for the 2nd time, bought some new shoes. What next.. I must start on sorting through the garage & spare room this afternoon. We have a lot of stuff we can sell or throw out. Planning on splitting the garage in two... a sell side & a trash side. Sounds like fun. </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-77936380610478526042016-01-03T07:53:00.003+11:002016-01-03T08:05:04.983+11:002016 - Setting Some Ground Rules<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ok, so here comes a big year with at least 2 certainties.. Getting married in March and buying a house sometime after that. Plenty of other smaller things to look forward to throughout the year but I'll talk about those when they happen. For now, just going to say that today marks the first of many blogs, a decision I have made for the following reasons:<br /><br />1. <span style="color: orange;"><b>I need an outlet.</b> </span>It helps me stay on track by reflecting on my days & thoughts.<br />2. <span style="color: orange;"><b>I need to have something to look back on.</b> </span>Years are going by faster & faster and it all seems a blur. I hope that having these physical memories will make each day more valuable.<br />3. <b><span style="color: orange;">I need to be more productive.</span></b> I'm always putting things off, claiming to be busy, which I am, but I need to make the most of my time with the people I care about while balancing my workload. I must do this without overloading myself & becoming a high-strung, stressed out individual.<br />4. <span style="color: orange;"><b>I have a crap memory.</b> </span>Yep, for the same reasons as #2.<br />5. <b><span style="color: orange;">I am doing this for me.</span></b> I should point out that I am doing this for me, but it is on the internet so if you find it useful or think someone else might... share/comment away!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />My measure here is 30 mins of writing & reflection each day. I plan on doing this at the end of each day once my daughter is in bed.<br /><br />I have a great feeling about this year. Not 100% sure what it is, but that makes it all the more interesting!<br /><br />One last thing. I need to become fit again. That'll be one part of this. Right now, I have the biggest gut I've ever had & I'm weighing in at 75.6kgs; the heaviest I've ever been & I'm getting married in 2 months. Time to get busy! </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-68185296070244709152015-07-07T05:27:00.001+10:002015-07-07T05:27:29.268+10:00Sleep: the forgotten state<p dir="ltr"><u>Here</u> I am again. 5am & severely sleep deprived. Not even quite sure how I'm typing this. Thank you technology for autocorrect.</p>
<p dir="ltr">If you've ever had a sleepless night, surely yes, we all have, you know the struggle that is the next day. Now multiply that by 14 and you're where I'm at. The constant twitch in my left eyelid is ever so slowly pecking away at my sanity.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This morning we've been attempting to get Turtle back to sleep since 230am. Apart from the 1 night where her grandparents rescued us (or was it 2, its all a blur), this spout has been non stop for almost 2 weeks. Nothing works, its just a matter of riding it out until she exhausts herself, meanwhile I lie here in a semiconscious state the whole time. <br>
It's pretty obvious to me I'm not coping well with this; and really, who would?! I can actually feel myself getting stupider with each sleepless night that passes. It impacts my ability to make good decisions, to think clearly and to ultimately coordinate a standard day at work.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Ah, hello my morning alarm; time to get up & guess what... Turtle is now fast asleep.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm going to smile and wave at myself in the mirror.</p>
<p dir="ltr">To be continued...</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6088540077856324063.post-24717633145174141942015-05-17T12:33:00.004+10:002015-05-30T22:44:50.346+10:00Global Development Delay: Dad's view<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSe2kF-ehUlpMjO54_p5eBl3X4vm6VawURCFFx3xBAZ87p53aNJ_JiavteAC3bi5Ui5jNqEeSZEWQPfC7JrEa4BueL76KmlXCBDaGC2AfoOFsu0lw-T6-Hk6u61Ij4RaJx-U-Hj-PIj0k/s1600/cailin_daddy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSe2kF-ehUlpMjO54_p5eBl3X4vm6VawURCFFx3xBAZ87p53aNJ_JiavteAC3bi5Ui5jNqEeSZEWQPfC7JrEa4BueL76KmlXCBDaGC2AfoOFsu0lw-T6-Hk6u61Ij4RaJx-U-Hj-PIj0k/s320/cailin_daddy.jpg" width="320" /></a>For me, having a daughter diagnosed with Global Development Delay has always been difficult to explain to people. I mean, even <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_developmental_delay" target="_blank">Wikipedia</a> only has a half-arsed explanation. If you want a better understanding, check out this basic <a href="http://www.noahsark.net.au/_literature_78616/Global_developmental_delay" target="_blank">fact sheet</a> before you read on. FYI, Cailin is delayed in all 5 points listed, but I'll explain that in more detail later on. In short, the absolute truth is that she is in a space where if you watch her briefly or glance at a photo, most of the time Cailin displays all the normal characteristics of a 2.5 year old. It's only when you spend some quality time with her & actually attempt to interact that most people will fast learn she is not okay. Again, more on that later.<br />
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I recently had a realisation that I am quick to avoid the topic of my daughter's progress. I've never thought it be intentional but in truth it is. I certainly do find it harder each day to bring myself to work through the answer to the question "How is Cailin/your daughter going?". The majority of the time I will respond with a simple "She's going good" and then lead into something along the lines of how she is the most amazing little person & how I love her like crazy. All of which are of course true, it's just that the "going good" is a mask, a brave face, for the fact that she is well behind to where she should be, but we are working hard every day to move forward with small wins every so often. I'm now at a point where going through the true story with people is difficult because, unfortunately, most responses consist of telling me that she'll be right or she'll catch up or the almighty "It could be worse!", as though it's nothing to worry about, you know, business as usual. The alternative to these responses being the experts who have not even attempted to understand Cailin's condition and prematurely stamp directives & advice as though it can be a quick fix to all of her problems. This sounds harsh, I know. I understand that everyone has good intentions, and some just don't know what to say. I get it. It just doesn't make it any easier & is not something I want to be a part of a "small talk" conversation. Hence, I choose to pass it off as "she is good".<br />
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Fast forward to yesterday. Something inside me broke. After a half hour swimming lesson with others around her age we headed back to the car. I was down & out, mentally exhausted. We put Cailin in her seat, buckled ourselves in & one simple "Are you okay?" question from Jade triggered it all and I became a blubbering mess. To get straight to the point, in this case, it was not the comparisons to other children her age that hurt, it was the lack of understanding, the judgmental eyes and the avoidance of conversation, all from the other parents in the session. I have felt this since we started the lessons earlier this year but today was different, after having a few weeks off it felt as though we were not welcome, like we were in the way & setting a bad example for the other children. Three quarters of the way through we withdrew from the session and went to play on the other side of the pool where Cailin could be free & happy.<br />
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There is no quick fix to feeling this way either. As a parent to a 2.5 year old child diagnosed with GDD there are still so many unanswered questions. We are doing everything possible to give our daughter the best life, to find out what is driving these delays & help her reach her full potential. It is a tough & exhausting road and it is everything about who she is and what she can do that keeps us on the path.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09675068381383732931noreply@blogger.com0